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Visitors to Wallace Wade stadium this weekend expecting a hard-fought, physical contest were disappointed by the unusually civilized sporting event on display.

“I came here hoping to see huge, angry men tackling each other,” said Rusty McFearson, a longtime football fan.  “But instead, there were all these skinny people competing alongside each other with no intent to harm or maim.  Frankly, it was disappointing.”

Sports fans were met with a bewildering array of events, but none had any apparent relationship to America’s favorite hard-hitting game.  “There were people jumping into sand, running around in circles, throwing metal balls. Girls even.  What is America coming to?”  Rusty asked.  (more…)

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