Southpoint—Thursday marks the first day of the annual month-long expedition to find the sluttiest Halloween costume possible, the University academic calendar confirmed.
On this day, almost every female at the University will begin an exhausting 30-day hunt for a skimpy and suggestive outfit for the Oct. 31 holiday. The holiday is significant because it grants females immunity from being called a “slut” during the 24-hour period.
This month, females will devote numerous hours to procuring thin sheets of fabric and the most pious will spend the entire month fasting in order to fit into their newly acquired garb.
“It’s important for the outfit to be paired with either black knee-high boots, or red or black 3-inch stilettos,” junior Lacey Kim, a veteran Halloween slut who was a French maid last year and Cat woman the year before, advised.
A significant proportion of the male population will also be wearing revealing attire on Halloween, but instead of purchasing a costume, most will simply take off their shirts, write something on their chests and insist they are either a soldier or a gangster.
“We are confident that we will be able to match or outdo most women in terms of partial nudity,” Sigma Alpha Epsilon President Johnathan McGreen said while offering to pose for photographs.
There are unconfirmed reports that some males, however, will opt to wear a sexually suggestive or obscene costume instead, covering their faces with white bags to be either a condom or a sperm.