Duke Presents Civilized Alternative to Football

Visitors to Wallace Wade stadium this weekend expecting a hard-fought, physical contest were disappointed by the unusually civilized sporting event on display. “I came here hoping to see huge, angry men tackling each other,” said Rusty McFearson, a longtime football fan.  “But instead, there were all these skinny people competing alongside each other with no [...]

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McCrory — NCAA Champ!

The Weedicle would like to congratulate Duke Swimming and Diving’s Nick McCrory on his national championship in platform diving!  In addition to dominating the field in that event, McCrory was also runner-up in the three meter dive and fourth in the one meter.  Nice work. Story on goduke.

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Coach Cut — A Vol Once More

(EDITED POST) It looks like Coach Cutcliffe’s hiring as the head coach of Tennessee is all but official. http://content.usatoday.com/communities/campusrivalry/post/2010/01/newspaper-reports-cutcliffe-hiring-at-tennessee-nearly-a-done-deal/1 If this does turn out to be the case… Dukies may feel stabbed in the back, but it’s hard to blame Cut for moving back to his roots.  We had trouble shaking the feeeling that Cutcliffe [...]

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Duke Athletics Holds Sale to Balance Budget

Shwartz-Butters—In order to cut costs, the Athletics Department is selling hall of fame memorabilia, sports training materials and performance-enhancing drugs. “Everything must go!” Director of Athletics Kenneth Black said, “But act now! These prices won’t last forever!”

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Commentators Sort B-Ballers by Athleticism

Durham–Commenting on the Blue Devils’ recent victory over the Connecticut Huskies, Dan Shulman and Mike Patrick assembled the definitive list of athletic and unathletic Duke athletes. “Take a guy like Ryan Kelly. He can really get up in the paint and alter shots with his size and speed. The one knock on him is that [...]

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Where’s My Theme Night?

I can’t help but feel left out of this basketball season. Last Friday was Greek Night, but I’m not greek, so I didn’t go. Tomorrow’s game is Freshman Night, but I’m not a freshman, so I’m not going. Tuesday is Club Sports Night, but I’m not in a club sport, so I’m not going to [...]

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Devils Win Tailgate

Blue Zone—At their final Tailgate of the season, the Duke Blue Devils claimed victory today with a stunning save by Sigma Alpha Epsilon President John Landrew, whose intense shotgunning turned the game around. The first quarter of the Tailgate looked grim; the depressingly low turnout of costumed females startled observers, who blamed the early timing [...]

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How Should I Feel About Duke Football?

We all know Duke Football has been getting a lot of attention recently.  That is, everyone who writes/reads this blog knows.  That is, both of us, you and me, know.  Anyway, not all of it has been positive.  In fact, it’s worth a quick review of the varying types: 1. Overly optimistic hopes/predictions (ACC Champs!  [...]

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Crazies to Jump Through Hoops for UNC Game

Cameron Indoor—Duke Student Government Head Line Monitor Mach Black proposed at a town hall meeting today that students be asked to jump through hoops made of fire in order to attend the Duke-UNC basketball game. Instead of spending more time in the tent, students will be asked to leap through 13 rings of fire before [...]

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Students Complain About Lack of Support From Football Team

West Campus—Duke students have banded together and begun publishing formal complaints about the lack of support they receive from the football team. “I’m out there on Tuesday mornings busting my a—, trying to make the grade in Econ 51, and where are they?” said one anonymous freshman. “I’m not asking them to show up for [...]

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