Bureaucracy weeped Monday night as leaders from Campus Council and the Student Government of Duke discussed an impending merger.
“If only these organizations realized that two useless organizations are more irrelevant than one,” Bureaucracy lamented. Under the proposed change, the Student Government of Duke would assume all of the policy-making aspects of Campus Council, virtually eliminating the organization.
“We understand that this may give off the impression that we are actually doing something,” Student Government of Duke President Matt Lincoln said. “But in the long run, this move will enable us to effect less change on a greater scale.”
“I just hope that students finally recognize that in dissolving our own organization, we are proving ourselves as the most useless organization of all,” Campus Council Programming Chair Kerry Blaine stated in an interview. “Suck it, Council for Collective Communist Action.”
When asked what he will do now, Bureaucracy said, “Well, I am going to spend some time in DC to visit my parents and recuperate for a few weeks, but rest assured: I will be back in time for the Board of Toolbags meeting February 25th. I can survive this minor setback.”
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